Diary of a Fat Girl

Tuesday, Dec 13

Dear Diary,

It’s one of THOSE days. I woke up feeling bad about my weight and solemnly swore to do something about it. In my two hours of research, I found countless diet and exercise plans. I’m truly excited  because I even discovered Zumba classes near my house. I can’t wait to get started! I’ll start tomorrow though, I’m too tired from all the research.

Wednesday, Dec 14

Honestly, today wasn’t that great a day. I was working non – stop from 9 to 5. I was so hungry in the evening that I ordered a cheese burst pizza. I deserved it after all that hard work, didn’t I? I’m not feeling too guilty about the extra calories, the Zumba will soon take care of them.

Saturday, Dec 17

Where did the week go? It’s like I was in a dream and when I woke up, it was Saturday. I’ve been working relentlessly for 5 whole days! I desperately need some time to myself and the weekend is all I have. I think Zumba will have to wait till next Monday.

Sunday, Dec 18

I don’t think I can go on like this. It’s a vicious cycle. Depressed at not being able to find time for myself, I started taking anti  – depressants to cope with my job. They helped a great deal, but also made me gain all this weight (as if I didn’t have enough of that already). I’ve been trying to make time to incorporate some exercise into my routine ever since but have failed consistently. I’m working 5 days of the week and I’m exhausted from work on the remaining 2. I don’t like what I see in the mirror. It’s depressing …

Thursday, Dec 22

I was browsing through social media and came across a post about a plus-sized model, making waves in the fashion industry. I felt genuine happiness to see society’s narrow perception of beauty broadening. However, I made the mistake of scrolling down to the comments section. Some people were talking about how the post was glorifying obesity and could possibly encourage the future generation to lead an unhealthy lifestyle. Some went as far as saying that she needs to be told that she is fat and not beautiful, otherwise she would be well on her way to heart disease.

Their “genuine concern” for the health and well-being of both the model and our future generation moved me! How thoughtful of them to take time out of their busy schedules and provide their wisdom in the comments section for an entertainment website.

On a more serious note, this really angered me. I was mocked and bullied pretty much all through my school life. Why? I WAS A FAT KID! Did it matter that I was smart, funny and a nice person? Nope. I wasn’t a conventionally pretty girl and that was my big crime.

Do such people think we’re unaware of our weight? Do they really think we don’t know the health problems that come with huge waistlines? Do they think we’re not disappointed when we see a dress we really like but know it probably won’t look that great on us? Do they think that the realization that our crush will never like us back is not heart-breaking enough for us? Finally, do they really think that out of all those things, it is their fat-shaming that will finally motivate us to exercise and will save the generations to come?

I know I went on a bit of a rant, but you always listen.

Monday, Dec 26

It’s one of THOSE days again. I woke up feeling bad about my weight and solemnly swore to do something about it. In my two hours of research, I found countless diet and exercise plans. I’m truly excited  because I discovered that jumping rope can burn more than 10 calories a minute while strengthening the legs, butt, shoulders, and arms. I can’t wait to get started! I’ll start tomorrow though, I’m too tired from all the research.

Love,

NM

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s